June 17, 2006
Father’s Day is more than a day to honor our own fathers; it is also about celebrating all the men who have acted as a father figure in our lives, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, stepfathers, cousins, friends, and special mentors we will never forget.
As we look toward Father’s Day of 2006, I am reminded of many of those incredible men in my life, some gone and some still with me. I never want to forget a single one of them.
Although I have had many father figures, there is one special person high on my list today, one still vividly alive in my heart and mind. One I will most certainly never forget.
My cousin Ted, a father figure to nearly everyone who ever met him, died suddenly less than a fortnight ago. His death was unexpected and unexplainable.
More than anything else, what I remember about Ted is what a good father figure he was.
Ted had no biological children of his own, but we were all his children.
Neighbors, nephews, cousins, parents, brothers, sisters-in-law, needy strangers, stray dogs, the stranded, and the sad.
Ted was the “go to” guy for nearly everything for nearly everyone who came in contact with him.
Whatever your dilemma, Ted could find a solution.
He was strong, protective, caring, compassionate, kind, firm, reliable, vulnerable, and sensitive.
Ted was everything you would want a father to be.
Many folks never had such a stellar real-life father, and many men will never be quite that good at being a father themselves.
So, when we find a soul as fatherly as my cousin, Ted, we should celebrate their lives on Father’s Day just as much as anyone else’s.
Contrary, to popular misconception, Father’s Day was not established as a holiday to benefit greeting card companies. The idea came from Mrs. John B. (Sonora) Dodd of rural, eastern Washington State. She wanted to find a way to honor her father, who raised six kids alone after his wife died. Mrs. Dodd was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, as the story goes, when she realized the selflessness her father had shown all his life.
Selflessness.
I think that could describe fathers or father figures better than any other characteristic that comes to mind.
Father figures have a thankless job. Since we all depend on them so much, we rarely thank them. We take most everything they do for granted. And, so we did with my cousin, Ted. Family, friends and neighbors were so used to calling Ted for help we never much thought to thank him. Ted miraculously appeared at anyone’s time of need to solve or fix or repair or lift or drive or research the situation.
We were grateful, true enough, but maybe we were not very forthcoming with our thanks. The comforting thought for those of us left behind, however, is that Ted never expected any thanks. He did everything for the pure joy of helping others.
What more could anyone want in a father--spotless and sure selflessness.
In the end, strong and protective as he was for those around him, Ted himself could not be protected from the harshness and the cruelty of life.
I know it is true some folks like Ted are just too good for this world.
Good fathers always are.
